Welcome to Nadine’s dizzy blog …..
I’ve started this blog because I am frustrated. Beyond frustrated. I’ve reached a point where I simply don’t know what to do anymore.
So let’s back up.
October 2013. I’m doing pretty well with life. I’ve got a great job that I love working in design. I’ve finally finished working on my Masters in Graphic Design. So I am free, finally. Free to enjoy life. Or so I thought.
A couple of days before my birthday in October 2013 I suffered for the first time from acute vestibular neuritis. It. Was. Hell. I ended up on the acute stroke ward because I was unable to walk, talk, form coherent thoughts so all assumed I had had a stroke.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m managing to move about, beginning to live life again, reassured all will be fine in a few weeks and I’ll never think about it again.
That didn’t happen. It didn’t leave completely.
It’s like my little black cloud curse that follows me all the time.
I feel I shouldn’t complain, there are people making it through life with far worse. But its just a constant feeling sick. A constant not-quite-enjoying-stuff. A constant visual disturbance. A constant constant constant watching myself. It is basically 24/7 travel sickness. Which really gets you down after 3 years of it.
The worst thing. Absolute worst thing. Is the feeling completely alone. I am now in the German healthcare system. And I have honestly never felt more isolated, more abandoned, more like no-one is listening to me. I am wading up stream through treacle to try and reach some goal, which I’m not even sure what that is anymore. I just want to feel well.